At some point in time, women went from wives and mothers to superwomen. We decided we wanted it all and could have it all– and would provide it all!
Now, I’m not saying you can’t. I’m not saying you shouldn’t.
Girlfriend- if you want it, go get it!
However, I am saying that in the journey to have it all… we sometimes lose what really matters–
We become stressed, tired, cranky and, quite honestly, not a lot of fun to be around.
Is that WHY you want it all?
Not me! I want it all for several reasons- provide my family with a great life, retire early so I can travel, make a difference in the lives of the children I teach and support learning environments in the community.
I have found that one of the keys to finding balance is to let go of the guilt. Here are 2 situations I experienced gut wrenching guilt. Holding on to the guilt stopped me from moving forward with my goals.
#1- The Mom Guilt!
My son was born 7 weeks early. My breast milk never came in. The 2 things my body was designed to do- carry a child and feed it- failed. Hello, GUILT! Getting over that took a L-O-N-G time. I spent hours worrying about how much I had failed my son. Then one day I realized- he was FINE. He was better than fine! He was thriving! Nine years later, I have an extremely intelligent, highly creative engineer in the making!
Baby’s First Picture!
Building Rockets at Cub Scout Camp!
#2- The Teacher Guilt!
My first year teaching, I taught a student I’ll call Sam. Sam was quiet. He worked really hard but didn’t get anywhere. He was failing First Grade. I went through the schools then protocol for identifying students with learning disabilities. I had him observed by the school psychologist. Nothing. I retained and taught him the following year. The next year, he moved to a different district, but I stayed in contact with the family. He was immediately diagnosed with ADD, put on meds and became a straight A student. Two years with me and I couldn’t help him… Hello, GUILT!
Moving past the guilt was imperative to not getting stuck. It takes these simple steps:
#1- Learn something from the experience. I learned to be more sympathetic to others. I learned how to recognize ADD. I learned how to partner with parents.
#2- Be thankful. Be thankful for what you learned. Be thankful for the experience. Be thankful for what you DO have. I AM thankful for the amazing child I have. I AM thankful that Sam got the help he needed.
#3 Forgive yourself. This step can be the hardest and usually isn’t a one time thing. Every time those guilty feelings or bad memories come up, repeat to yourself a forgiveness mantra. I like to say “I did the best I could with the information I had. It is not my fault.”
This is the first blog post in my Finding Balance series. I have worked really hard to find balance in my life and want to share these tips with you! You can find other posts in the Finding Balance series by clicking on the images below or signing up for my newsletter!
Since finding balance is an ongoing struggle, I would also love to hear your tips in the comments below!
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